Funny quotes about life to cheer you up

You know what it’s like, sometimes you’re up and sometimes you down. So when you need a little lift here as some quotes about life.

“A good rule of thumb is if you’ve made it to thirty-five and your job still requires you to wear a name tag, you’ve made a serious vocational error.” Dennis Miller

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. ” Charles Lamb

“Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” Sam Ewing

“A man in the house is worth two in the street.” Mae West

“Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles. ” Roseanne Barr

“The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. ” Friedrich Nietzsche

Try some of the best famous quotes about life.

“I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.” George Burns

“You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman “It’s plucking your eyebrows”. That’s how I originally got pierced ears.” Geri Jewell

“Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. ” Bill Vaughn

“A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead. ” Stan Laurel

Why not take a look at these funny life quotes.

“I remember a time when everybody I loved hated me because I hated them.” John Lennon in a Letter to Stuart Sutcliffe circa 1960

“As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.” Jack Handey

“This 3-year-old kid is home alone, and a salesman comes to the door. The kid answers, and he’s got a porno in one hand, a cigar in one hand and a bottle of J.D. The salesman goes, “Hi, little boy, are your parents home?” The kid goes, “What the f**k do you think?”” Avril Lavigne

“Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills. ” Dolly Parton

“I haven’t had any experience with UFO’s, but paranormal life seems to be all around me…I grew up on the lower east side of New York.” David Duchovny